And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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