is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
