apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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