Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
