WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
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i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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