i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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