Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
