Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Less talking, more tequila
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
