I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
