Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
YAS. BRING CRAB.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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