I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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