I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
