i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
