Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We're using joints as your birthday candles
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
