You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
