She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
