everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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