Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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