yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
