i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
