Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
