3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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