can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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