Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
