I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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