i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
