i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize