his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
