I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC