Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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