Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I am available for nakedness
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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