I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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