Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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