You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
