We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
