just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My breasts were aching with rage.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dick very happy bro
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
