Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize