K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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