he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
