so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
