don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
