so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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