She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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