I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
