38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
