pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
