Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I met the friendliest cop last night
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
