when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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