i just wanna soil my oats bro
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Green mimosas i think yes
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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