I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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