I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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