Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"

  (616): View more from Michigan

  He did it well too

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  (616): His pickup line was "I'll eat you out" (616): He did it well too http://tfl.nu/h6lm
  Replies (57) Good night (9015) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.

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  (785): My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/kbij
  Replies (25) Good night (5502) Bad night (1821)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.

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  (301): We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else. http://tfl.nu/5mkn
  Replies (5) Good night (4116) Bad night (1431)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  He just wants an even tan

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  (860): I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked. (1-860): He just wants an even tan http://tfl.nu/akk9
  Replies (18) Good night (4296) Bad night (1281)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  Her brother is deaf.

  (214): View more from Texas

  no wonder she was so good with her hands

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  (213): Her brother is deaf. (214): no wonder she was so good with her hands http://tfl.nu/zbzq
  Replies (6) Good night (5607) Bad night (1133)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.

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  (410): You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/0v77
  Replies (11) Good night (999) Bad night (2924)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd

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  (252): Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd http://tfl.nu/1g97
  Replies (8) Good night (1464) Bad night (2430)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I will cut you

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Put that in perspective

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  (423): I will cut you (1-423): Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me (423): Put that in perspective http://tfl.nu/op5b
  Replies (10) Good night (1849) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.

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  (914): probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate. http://tfl.nu/x46r
  Replies (10) Good night (521) Bad night (1418)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot

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  (215): I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot http://tfl.nu/otr7
  Replies (4) Good night (857) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..

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  (315): I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children.. http://tfl.nu/lakp
  Replies (3) Good night (942) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.

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  (720): Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag. (303): This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two. http://tfl.nu/02n3
  Replies (2) Good night (833) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.

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  (306): I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women. http://tfl.nu/1xbq
  Replies (4) Good night (800) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  How high are you exactly

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  (443): Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis (828): How high are you exactly http://tfl.nu/wb80
  Replies (2) Good night (809) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now

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  (650): There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now http://tfl.nu/qh57
  Replies (1) Good night (227) Bad night (413)

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