as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
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I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
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Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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