I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So much rum. So many feels.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
