You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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