I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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