I just saw a hot homeless man
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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