You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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