Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Still dying that you shit outside
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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