Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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