If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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