Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
