i don't like sucking hair
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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