This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You ate ashes out of my bong
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize