Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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