so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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